Secrets
by Sephyra
Summary: Hermione's hurt; Dumbledore wants to hear a story, and Severus is forced to comply.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling, everything else is mine.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Slowly, her surroundings came into focus. The bright blur transformed into windows and a worried face appeared above her. She stared into the dark eyes; he seemed familiar, but she didn't quite recognize him. She tried to speak, but the effort only brought her pain. The figure above her winced then turned to say something to the person behind him. At least she assumed someone was there; she still couldn't see that far. She couldn't understand what he was saying. It was like someone had stuff her pillow into her ears. The only things filtering through were murmurs and nonsense. She closed her eyes in an attempt to clear her vision, and drifted back to sleep before she could reopen them.  
  
He watched her as she fell back asleep. He enjoyed watching her sleep. It was something he did whenever she shared his bed. Looking down at her, he had trouble believing this broken body before him was truly her. Yesterday she had been so full of life. So happy. So eager to be with him. That was something else he had trouble believing. She was the only person to break through the emotional barriers he had so painstakingly put up. He should feel guilty; at least, that's what he told himself so many times before. They were so different - - their ages, their pasts. They were like night and day, light and dark. She was so pure, while he was tainted with evil. Yet she persistently returned to him, despite his original protests. Crazy Gryffindor …never listened to him. She saw right through it all and stole his heart.  
  
But now she was hurt; badly. Their secrets had finally caught up with them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Like I said this is my first attempt so please bear with me. I promise it  
  
will get better. Reviews will be greatly appreciated!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling, everything else is mine.  
  
Secrets – Chapter 2  
  
He fell asleep next to her bed, and when he awoke it morning. The hospital wing was remarkable empty…he was glad for that. The last thing Hermione needed was people gawking at her. His gaze circled the room and landed back on her. She was still sleeping, but she looked better. The dark purplish-black bruise on her temple was slowly fading and her left arm no longer looked broken. However, she still clutched her left hand to her chest. He noticed something silver within her fist. As he reached out to investigate, a hand settled on his shoulder. He turned to see Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"Severus, Dumbledore wishes to speak with you."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"How are you doing, Severus?"  
  
"I'm fine." A frown darkened his features.  
  
"If her condition changes, I'll be sure to alert you." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled at him as she turned to walk away. His features softened.  
  
"Thank you, Poppy."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
He looked back to Hermione before getting up. After placing a small kiss on her forehead, he left. The walk to Dumbledore's office was noisy. Students, anxious to get to breakfast, filled the halls. The students were excited to go to Hogsmeade, the first trip of the year. Several ran into him, cringing in fear of his response. He paid no attention to them; his mind was elsewhere. Images of Hermione filled his mind, and before he knew it he'd reached his destination.  
  
After muttering 'Chocolate Grasshoppers', he entered Dumbledore's office. The old wizard sat behind his desk, rolling up a piece of parchment. He sealed it, yet made no motion to deliver it. Instead, he placed it in his desk.  
  
"Ah, Severus. Please, sit."  
  
"You wished to see me, Albus?"  
  
"Yes….lemon drop? No? How about some tea?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Now, there have been some questions regarding your relationship with Miss Granger. I'm sorry, but I must have you answer them."  
  
"I don't understand. She's not even a student here anymore."  
  
"Was she when the relationship started?"  
  
"Yes." Severus stared at his shoes.  
  
"Severus, you aren't going to be punished. I just need a little clarification on things. As a friend."  
  
"What else must you know?"  
  
"Have you any idea how she got hurt?"  
  
"No…the only person who can answer that is Hermione."  
  
"Why don't you tell me how it all began; everything up till now."  
  
"Don't tell me you want to know all about our sex life, too, you crazy old bat?" He covered his mouth in horror. "Veritaserum?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but yes. I must have the entire, unedited story." His blue eyes twinkled with laughter. "Now…start at the beginning."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short….I promise the next one will be longer. I just didn't want to have Severus start his story yet. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling, everything else is mine.  
  
  
  
Secrets – Chapter 3  
  
(This is told from Severus' POV)  
  
The beginning. Only a little over a year ago, I suppose. I ran into Hermione in London. No, not Diagon Alley. The Underground…she got on at Holburn. You don't know what the Underground is? Muggle transportation; a system of trains that run under the city. If you don't stop asking questions, I can't tell my story. Like I was saying…we were in the same car. The car was otherwise empty as it was very early in morning. At first I paid no attention to her, I didn't even notice when she had gotten in the car. She spoke first.  
  
"Professor Snape?" She seemed shocked. I guess I was the last person she thought she'd meet there.  
  
"Yes?….Oh, Miss Granger." This was the first time I had seen a student in London, outside of Diagon alley, that is. She appeared terribly distraught, as if she had been crying for an extending period of time. Then I noticed what she had with her…her cat. That awful ginger thing.  
  
"Miss Granger, why are you and your cat riding the Underground this late at night? I trust you are heading home?"  
  
"No, sir. I can't go home. My parents, they kicked me out. They see my magic as a hobby, something that isn't real or doesn't require an education." She pulled a small square from her bag. "I shrank my belongings and left."  
  
"Then you are heading to Potter or Weasley?"  
  
"No. Harry is with Ron, but they are visiting Ron's brother in Romania. The entire Weasley family is."  
  
"Then where are you going?"  
  
"I...I do…don't know." She started crying. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just leave her there, crying and alone. Instead, I asked to her to come with me when we stopped at Notting Hill Gate.  
  
"I have a small flat here. I know I'm not a very pleasant person to be around, but I assure you the my flat is better than an Underground station." She smiled at this. "I also possess a rather large literary collection: magical and muggle." She smiled even more at this. The walk to my flat was a very silent fifteen minutes. When we reached it, she seemed hesitant, yet she followed me upstairs. She was immediately drawn to the books in my living room. She curled up in a chair with one, and read it until she fell asleep. I moved her into my bed, so I wouldn't bother her while I wrote a letter to Mrs. Weasley. After I sent it, I went to sleep on my sofa.  
  
It was Hermione who woke me up the next morning. She came into the living room carrying a tray. She had made breakfast, and it smelled wonderful. I was confused though; my kitchen was practically barren. I guess my surprise had registered on my face.  
  
"I went shopping this morning." She smiled nervously. "I wanted to say thank you."  
  
My owl chose that moment to return, carrying a reply from the Weasley's. It was addressed to Hermione.  
  
Hermione,  
  
Professor Snape has informed me of your situation. Normally, I would insist you stay with us; however, we will not be returning to England until the children must return to Hogwarts.  
  
Love,  
  
Molly Weasley  
  
"Are you all right, Hermione?"  
  
"What am I to do?" She was on the verge of tears again.  
  
"Well first you can quit crying. It isn't going to help you any. Tomorrow morning you can accompany me to Diagon Alley. I have business to attend to at Gringott's and I also have to purchase some ingredients from the Apothecary."  
  
"I guess I should go to Gringott's also. I need to get my muggle money converted, and I need a vault, I suppose. I also need to get my new textbooks and supplies for school."  
  
"Is there anything else you'd like to do?" Don't ask me why I asked that…I'm not sure. I wanted to make her feel better. Crying females are not my forte.  
  
"Well…." She hesitated. "I…"  
  
"Quit fidgeting. Just say it."  
  
"Well, I have tickets to 'Cats' for tomorrow night. My mum had bought them for me. She was going to go with me before everything."  
  
"Cats? The musical?"  
  
"And here I had thought you knew little of the muggle world."  
  
"I know plenty. Very well….we shall go see it tomorrow night."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: His story is going to take several chapters….this just seemed like a logical place to end this one. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling; anything else is mine.  
  
Secrets – Chapter 4  
  
(Still Severus' POV)  
  
The next day actually went rather smoothly…complications didn't arrive until the evening. We got to the New London Theatre very early. She had gotten the times mistaken. So we decided to go find somewhere to eat before the show. We walked as far as the Bonnington; there we discovered the wizard half of the hotel. It even had a nice little restaurant inside. Dinner passed by in silence. Not that either of us cared; the quiet was nice. Then out of nowhere Remus Lupin and Sirius Black swooped in on Hermione. Now I know he's been cleared of the murders, but I still hate him. Black was his usual self…didn't apply an ounce of tact to his conversation with Hermione. She began crying again and ran out of the restaurant. I had spent the entire day with her, and she hadn't come close to crying. Yet Black was around for five bloody minutes and she was bawling again.  
  
"Brilliant, Black. Fabulous way to approach a sensitive subject."  
  
"I didn't realize. I heard from Harry…"  
  
"…who heard from Weasley, who heard from his mum, who heard from me."  
  
"Why is she with you, Severus?" Remus piped up.  
  
"Potter and Weasley are in Romania and I accidentally found her in the Underground. I couldn't leave her there, could I?  
  
"No, I suppose not."  
  
"Now, if you'll excuse me…I have to go clean up Black's mess. Plus we're supposed to see 'Cats' this evening."  
  
Remus' eyes grew large and Black opened his mouth to say something, but I left before he could say it. I found Hermione a few blocks away, near the British Museum.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Confused." I wasn't prepared for that one. Sad, yes; angry, definitely. But confused, no.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I always thought you were a heartless bastard. I guess I'm having problems adjusting to the new you, you know? I'm just confused."  
  
"I know the feeling. It's surprising to hear 'the know-it-all' admit that she doesn't understand something." She glanced at her watch while I was talking and grimaced. "What's wrong?"  
  
"We've missed over half the show."  
  
"Perhaps we'll see it some other time. I think we should return to Hogwarts tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, no. Please can't we stay? I'm not ready to deal with everyone yet. You saw what happened with Sirius and he's Harry's godfather. Couldn't we just stay in London for now and return to Hogwarts next week when everyone else does?" I should tell you now that Hermione has a certain face she makes when she asks for something she really wants. I should also tell you that I fall for it every time. It's difficult not to.  
  
We returned to my flat and played a few games of chess. She really is quite skilled at it, not that I expected any less of her. She didn't solve my logic problem when she was just a first year. Later, while she was taking a shower and changed into pajamas and prepared the sofa for the night. Once again I was sleeping on it. Hermione had tried to give me my bed back, but I refused. She needed all the comfort she could get, physical included. She came out of the bathroom wearing dark purple pyjama pants, a light purple tank top, tear stains on her cheeks, and red, puffy eyes. She came and sat down on the other end of the sofa, still crying. I had to take her in my arms. Like I said before, crying women are not my strong point. I moved so I was lying down, and just held her; her hot tears spattered on my shirt. She eventually fell asleep and I didn't want to wake her up. I know this sounds terrible but she looked so peaceful and she smelled so good, all I wanted to do was hold her. I watched her for what seemed like hours, and then I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up she was still in my arms, only now she was awake. I wondered why she hadn't moved to the bed. She just stayed there, looking at me. The emotion that played across her face was unfamiliar to me. I would later learn that it was love. She moved forward and placed her lips on mine. One hand ran through my hair. She pulled out of the kiss.  
  
"Your hair? It's not greasy, like it is at school." I smiled at the confusion on her face; this was the first smile that had shown my teeth. "Your teeth, they're…."  
  
"Charms. I was the youngest professor at Hogwarts ever. The appearance detracting charms help students focus on schoolwork instead of me. The only work at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade though."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She kissed me again; this time allowing her tongue to participate. I pulled her closer, holding her tighter. Then someone knocked on the door.  
  
  
  
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A/N: It's been about two years since I was in London, so my memory may not be completely correct. I stayed at the Bonnington and the New London Theatre was within walking distance, as was the British Museum; unless my brain is completely defective today. *smile* 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling; anything else is mine.  
  
  
  
Secrets – Chapter 5  
  
  
  
The knock came again. We froze; I hoped whoever it was would leave. No such luck. The knock was louder…  
  
"Hermione?!" Though muffled by the door it was quite loud, and masculine. "Are you here?" She bit her lip; torn between answering the door or kissing me again. Despite my urge to ravage her, I muttered a quick spell to make us appear decent again. It smoothed out my hair a little, faded our flushed skin, and made our lips appear less swollen. She slowly walked to the door and peered out the peephole.  
  
"Harry!" She opened the door and in came Harry Potter. How I loathed him at that moment.  
  
"'Mione, we came back early to see you. Mrs. Weasley insists you come stay with us. Ron's dying to see you. There are presents for you too." He smiled broadly, thinking this would make her happy. She looked at me cautiously. My conscious finally kicked in. I had kissed a student, and enjoyed. I would have gone farther if Potter hadn't shown up. This wasn't what she needed right now. She needed to leave.  
  
"Miss Granger, perhaps it would be better for you to spend some time with the Weasley's." Yes, I thought, better. She looked straight at me with hurt in her eyes. Her cinnamon eyes locked with mine, and it was as if she could see what I was thinking; like she knew why I was saying this. She pursed her lips, and the hurt vanished from her eyes. It had been replaced with determination. I never truly understood why she had kissed me that night…nor would I understand everything she did once school resumed.  
  
I returned to Hogwarts the same day Hermione left with Harry. I couldn't get her out of my mind though; she was everywhere, in every thought. I could barely focus on potions, my greatest passion. I'm surprised I made it to the beginning of classes with my classroom still intact. I blew up more potions than Neville Longbottom. No, change that, nowhere near as many as Longbottom, but it certainly was an obscene number for a Potions Master. Then, finally, classes began…between new Slytherins and first year potions students, Hermione was no longer front and center in my mind. I was doing great; at least, I thought I was. I realized how wrong I was on Friday of that week. Potions with seventh year Gryffindors, each student was working alone. Everything that could have gone wrong did. Only it wasn't Longbottom, it was Hermione. She had selected the wrong ingredients, followed the wrong directions, and basically made the wrong potion. If she had even really made a potion. What was supposed to be a dark blue relaxation potion, was candy apple red.  
  
"Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for your repeated mistakes."  
  
"I didn't make any mistakes." She said sweetly. I should have realized then that I was in trouble.  
  
"And you will serve detention following this class for your ignorance." Potter and Weasley's faces fell. I knew that the trio didn't have any more classes until Monday.  
  
As the other students filed out of the classroom, I told Hermione to clean her product up.  
  
"Don't you want to see if my potion works, sir?"  
  
"That, Miss Granger, is most certainly not a relaxation potion."  
  
"It is in a way."  
  
"Then why don't you take it, and prove it to me?"  
  
"Because this one doesn't work on females, just males. Plus, I hear you've been a bigger grouch than usual."  
  
"Miss Granger! I refuse to take an unknown potion!"  
  
"I promise it won't hurt you, or do you not trust me?" You remember that face I told you about, the one she uses to get what she wants? Well, she used it…and I still can't say no to it. I drank the potion. It actually tasted rather sweet, like cherries. I sat down at my desk while she cleaned up. The potion's effects didn't show up until about five minutes later. I suddenly had the strongest urge to hold her, kiss her, and touch her everywhere. I became incredibly sexually aroused. I tried to glare at her, but she simply smiled at me.  
  
"Just what does this potion do?"  
  
"Removes tension, sexual tension that is. Everything you're feeling was already in you, you just had pushed it all back. Now you can't do anything but act upon it. Basically, just a hyped up aphrodisiac. Rather wonderful, isn't it?" She turned and headed into my private quarters, leaving me and my erection in the classroom, alone. I, of course, followed her. I found her sitting in my chair by the fire, which was now lit. She crooked her finger and beckoned me to come closer to her. I wondered just when the innocent know-it-all had been replaced by this seductress. She stood when I was near her. Then she kissed me, pressing her body as close to mine as possible. I ran my fingers through her hair. She directed me to the sofa. Soon we were in the same position we had been in when Potter had interrupted us. After placing a soundproofing spell on the room, she added a 'do not disturb' charm. Then she kissed me again. We spent the rest of the day like this, in each other's arms. We relished in the pleasure we gave each other. Before drifting off to sleep I heard her whisper…  
  
"I love you, Severus."  
  
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A/N: What do you think so far? 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling; anything else is mine.  
  
  
  
Secrets ― Chapter 6  
  
  
  
When I woke up the next morning, she was still in my arms asleep. She's so beautiful when she sleeps, like she doesn't have worry in the world. I started wondering why she was with me. I've never lied to myself, so I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not a very handsome man, or a pleasant one…but she doesn't seem to notice this. She saw the Dark Mark on my arm the night before, and she didn't even flinch. She just held me tighter. When I finally looked at the clock, I realized it was noon. I thanked Merlin that it was Saturday; but I didn't know if anyone would realize Hermione hadn't returned to her room. I know she didn't have to share her room with anyone since she was Head Girl, but had anyone noticed that she hadn't gone to breakfast? Or would she regret what she did the day before? Would she even remember what she had said to me, that she loved me? I curled up closer to her, and placed my chin on her shoulder.  
  
"Hermione, I love you." I whispered.  
  
"I love you, too, Severus." She rolled over and kissed me.  
  
"Hermione, what will you tell your friends…about why you didn't return to your room last night?" I didn't want to think about how she would explain us to them. She looked up at my worried face and smiled.  
  
"Harry knows. And I think Ron does, too."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Harry knew something was up when he came to your flat. He came right out and asked me. I couldn't lie to him."  
  
"You aren't worried he'll accidentally tell someone. Like McGonagall."  
  
"No, he's in a rather hush-hush relationship as well."  
  
"With who? Ginny Weasley?" That was the rumor floating around at least. I personally had never seen the two behave that way together; maybe they were just good at hiding it.  
  
"No, but you're close." At first I was confused, then realization dawned.  
  
"You can't be serious…Ron?"  
  
"Yes, no one else knows and they prefer to keep it that way. He wouldn't say anything anyway, friends don't do that to each other."  
  
"I see. So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"  
  
"Well…" she said while wrapping her arms around my neck. "I'm pretty happy right here." She stretched her body out so that she was lying completely on top of me. Then she kissed me again…a soft, simple kiss.  
  
"Oh really?" Another kiss.  
  
"Really." Another kiss.  
  
"There's nothing else you'd like to do…besides kiss?" I looked her straight in the eyes. We were both very aroused.  
  
"I guess I could come up with something for us to do." She winked. I bet you can guess what happened next. We were both nearing climax when the door opened. The 'do-not-disturb' charm hadn't been refreshed. In walked Remus and Sirius, and when they saw us they became incredibly angry. I was unaware that humans could turn that particular shade of red. Blankets were quickly pulled up and Hermione sat half behind me. She cautiously peered out to see what Sirius and Remus were doing. She had one had splayed across my chest and the other was on my thigh.  
  
"Can I help you?" I tried to sound calm, even though I was incredibly angry at being interrupted.  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Sirius bellowed. Hermione ducked back behind me, pressing her forehead between my shoulder blades. "Answer me!"  
  
"Sirius, yelling won't make him answer any faster. Calm down." Remus, always the voice of reason when it came to Sirius.  
  
"What do you want me to say, Black? That I took advantage of her? Forced her into my bed?"  
  
"Did you?  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what happened?" A confused look filled his face as he tried to understand why Hermione was with me. "Explain."  
  
"Well…" but Hermione interrupted me before I could go any farther.  
  
"I made the Aficionado Potion." Sirius' face remained confused, but Remus' eyes went wide. I'm sure I looked the same way; I hadn't known the name of the potion she had made.  
  
"Hermione, what do you know about that potion?" She told him Remus exactly what she had told me the day before. "Well, there's a little more to that. Severus, I take it she didn't tell you the potion's name." He winked.  
  
"Will someone please explain?" Sirius had at least calmed down some. Remus sat down and started his explanation.  
  
"The Aficionado Potion does release sexual and emotional inhibitions, but that's only a minor aspect. As you know only a female can brew this potion, and only a man can drink it. A few hundred years ago it was used to detect soulmates. No one has successfully made in the last two hundred years."  
  
"How does it detect soulmates?" Hermione asked.  
  
"I'm sure you're aware of how it affected Severus. If anyone other than his soulmate had made it, he would have had no reaction to it." Sirius sat down next to Remus. "Hermione, I'm very impressed with your skill. I'm no Potion Master, but I understand it's hard to make."  
  
"Remus…I guess we should leave." Sirius rose. "I'm sorry I yelled, Hermione." Then he and Remus left.  
  
Hermione moved so we were facing each other. A smile played at her lips.  
  
"Soulmates, huh?"  
  
  
  
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	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling; everything else is mine.  
  
  
  
Secrets ― Chapter 7  
  
  
  
"Soulmates." The word rolled off my tongue. I know it's hard to believe the heartless Potion's Master, in love and loved in return. Don't deny it; even I had difficulty believing it. I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She returned the embrace, and placed her head on my shoulder. No words were needed. She practically melted into my arms. We eventually moved so that we were both lying side by side on the bed. Silence surrounded us, but it was soon broken.  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What are we going to do?" She propped herself up on one elbow so she was looking at me.  
  
"About what?" I placed one hand on her hip, relishing the feel of her skin.  
  
"Us." She rolled over so one leg laid over my legs and her chest was resting on mine.  
  
"Regarding?" She was having trouble getting to the point, and if she didn't stop squirming her question would have to wait a while.  
  
"Situations such as this. You can't give me detention every Friday; people would certainly get suspicious. And I highly doubt the Headmaster would approve. I know my Head of House would frown upon it all." I pictured Minerva walking in on us, frowning.  
  
"I shudder to think what the woman would do to me." When I was in school, I'd heard rumors of Minerva placing a spell on a boy and girl who'd be caught. Supposedly the boy was impotent for the rest of the year. And the girl…month long menstruation. Not something I want to think about.  
  
"I'm serious, Severus."  
  
"Me, too. I could fear for my manhood." She smiled.  
  
"Terrible loss for the both of us. But really, what will we do?"  
  
"Well you are going to continue being brilliant. It is what you're good at, after all. As Head Girl, you don't share a room with anyone so occasionally you could come visit. With Potter's invisibility cloak."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"Some things are just predictable. James Potter had one, so I assumed Dumbledore gave it to Harry. There are also weekends. But your studies come first. Speaking of that, have you given any thought to what your focus will be on?" As you know the Head Girl and Boy are supposed to apprentice themselves to a teacher, I hoped she'd work with me. "It was discussed at the staff meeting that you hadn't finalized anything yet. Dumbledore said something about two different proposals?" She blushed.  
  
"Last spring, I couldn't decide what I wanted to work on. Two subjects intrigued me: Arithmancy and Potions. But I think I've made up my mind."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Arithmancy." She took one look at my face and laughed. "You really should see your face, Severus. It's priceless. I was kidding. I'm choosing Potions. Do you really think I'd choose Professor Vector over you? Honestly." She tried to look offended, but her eyes defied her. They were sparkling.  
  
"So perhaps we should hold you apprenticeship on Friday afternoons? Would that be suitable?" Her smile finally appeared. "I take that as a 'yes' then?" She nodded.  
  
"That would be wonderful."  
  
  
  
So that was how that first semester went by. About one night a week she would sneak down to my quarters and spend the night with me. Then on Friday afternoons she would work on Potions, and then spend Friday night and Saturday morning with me. Everything was going great; no problems at all. At least that was what we thought. However, trouble arrived with Christmas Break…in a form we never expected.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I'll try to get another chapter done before this weekend; but if not, there won't be anything until after the 24th. I have Spring Break, and I won't have my computer with me.  
  
What do you all think of it so far? Am I doing okay? 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to J.K. Rowling; anything else is mine.  
  
  
  
Secrets ― Chapter 8  
  
  
  
Looking back that semester is just one blur; a mesh of classes and Hermione. Always Hermione. It felt so perfect, like nothing could go wrong. But life is never perfect, and trouble is always there. However, our problems didn't begin until Christmas Break. That year the school was almost empty. Rumors of attacks from Voldemort were a constant presence, but Voldemort hadn't summoned me since the previous July. Only four students remained: a sixth year Ravenclaw and her sister who was a third year Hufflepuff, Hermione, and Draco Malfoy. Hermione was the only one for her trio to remain. Harry went home with Weasley, but after what Hermione had told me, I expected it.  
  
Once all the other students were gone, a sort of sadness came over Hermione. The first night after everyone left, she came to my classroom. She sat at the table in front of my desk and stared into space. I had been at my desk, grading papers. I sat the papers aside and went to sit beside her. She didn't even look at me. I clasped her hands in mine.  
  
"Hermione, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"It's most obviously not 'nothing'." I used on hand to turn her face toward me, and I looked her straight into her eyes. They were brimming with tears. "You're crying."  
  
"Yes." At least she didn't try to deny it again.  
  
"Why?" I hoped she would give me an honest answer this time; like I said earlier, I don't do well with crying females.  
  
"It's nothing…" I wiped a tear from her cheek. "It's just that…I miss my parents. I guess I hadn't really thought about since this summer, but I kind of hit me this morning. I'm sorry. I shouldn't really be complaining about it."  
  
"There's nothing wrong about it. You don't have to apologize for anything. Especially not to me." I wrapped my arms around her. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
  
  
"Well…you could kiss me. That always makes me feel better." I leaned in and place my lips on hers.  
  
"Kind of like this?" I ran my tongue along her lower lip. She opened my robes and snaked her hands under my shirt, placing them on my chest for a moment. Then she put them on my back, pulling herself closer to me.  
  
"Perfect." I moved my arms so I could remove her robes. Underneath she wore pajama pants and a tank top. Before I could remove her tank top, she stopped me. "You first."  
  
I smiled. Then I proceeded to take off my robes, shirt, shoes, and pants. Finally, I was left wearing only my black boxers. She smiled, and stood up next to me. I reached over and pulled her top off; then she pressed against me. Her hands ran up and down my back, teasing me. She ran her fingers under the waistband of my boxers, and then pulled them down.  
  
"Now that's not fair…you still have pants." I teased. She kissed me, and wriggled out of her pants. "No panties? Living dangerously, I see." She kissed me harder. Then I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me. I placed her on the edge of the table. I kissed her, softly. She moved so that she was completely on the table and she leaned back. I moved to cover her with my body.  
  
"Severus…" she murmured. "Now…please…I need you…" With one fluid motion, I granted her wish. I softly kissed each breast as we rocked, then I kissed her again. Her legs tightened around me as she climaxed. I soon followed. Then the door opened.  
  
"Well, well, well." Draco Malfoy's voice seemed to echo across the classroom. "I see the Head Girl's working on a little extra credit."  
  
We froze. I summoned our robes. Hermione grabbed hers and ran into my private quarters. When I had mine on, I turned to face Draco. I was seething.  
  
"Now, Professor. What would the Dark Lord think? A deatheater and a muggleborn."  
  
"What are you doing here, Draco?"  
  
"My father sent me to speak with you." It almost sounded like he said 'father' as if were a bad thing.  
  
"Regarding?" A million things ran through my head as I tried to figure out what Lucius wanted. I couldn't come up with a logical reason. Draco hesitated a moment before speaking again.  
  
"Well, to be honest, he didn't directly say to speak with you. Not really." I stared at him. He shifted from foot to foot. "I wanted to tell you something."  
  
"What is it, Draco?" He was starting to worry me. I had thought that Draco had turned away from Voldemort, but perhaps I was wrong.  
  
"They…they'regoingtocomeforyou." He spit it out quickly. My eyes flew open fast. I had never thought they would come for me, but that would explain why I hadn't been summoned for a while. "I thought you would want to know."  
  
"Thank you, Draco." He always manages to shock me. "How did you find out?"  
  
"I haven't told my dad that I don't want to become a deatheater. I keep playing along and listen intently when he talks about meetings. I've even been introduced to several other deatheaters. Anyway, I have to go. I'm late."  
  
"Late for what?"  
  
"Meeting someone." I swear he blushed.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Savannah Laughlin." She was a sixth year Ravenclaw…and muggleborn. I wondered if Lucius knew. "She's part of the reason I'm going to go against my father."  
  
"I'm happy for you, Draco." I really was. The boy seemed truly happy when he said her name. "I'll talk to you later." With that, Draco left. I turned to look for Hermione.  
  
I found her curled up on my bed. Her robes were on haphazardly, and it was very obvious she was naked underneath. She looked so sweet sleeping there, so vulnerable too. I stood there just looking at her for fifteen minutes. I came to the conclusion that if deatheaters were going to attack me, she didn't need to be associated with me. It hurt so bad to think about it, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  
  
"Hermione." I said her name loudly. "Hermione, you need to wake up."  
  
"What?" she sleepily asked.  
  
"I…I think it would be best if you left." My former self slowly reasserted himself; the cold, emotionless professor. "You should leave. Now."  
  
"Why?" She was wide awake now. "What happened?"  
  
"I said leave." Tears fell from her eyes. My heart broke to see it, but it was for her own safety. She couldn't be near me. It was too dangerous. I didn't want to see her hurt because of something I had done. "Why aren't you going?"  
  
She just sat there for a minute, staring at me. A confused, hurt look was on her face. More tears fell. She kept looking at my face, as if searching for answers. However, I couldn't provide her with any.  
  
"Just leave, Miss Granger." I said quietly.  
  
"I don't understand." And with that she left my room, and slammed the door behind her. I could hear her sobbing as she ran down the hall. I looked out into my classroom, and saw her clothes still lying in the floor. I picked them up, and hugged them. Then I let the tears fall.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Now there won't be another chapter until after my spring break, but I promise I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can after that. 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Same as every other chapter.  
  
Secrets ― Chapter 9  
  
  
  
I became even more of a heartless bastard after that. I know that no one noticed; I was still acting normal by their image of me. But when I sent her away, my heart broke. Shattered. I locked myself in my chambers for the rest of the holiday. I spent Christmas Day holding the gift I had purchased for Hermione…a small silver ring. It had a gold lion with a silver snake wrapped around it. I still have it; I never gave it to her.  
  
When classes resumed, rumors began to fly. Hermione had disappeared. No one seemed to know when she had left or where she had gone. I, however, knew that whatever had happened was my fault. Weeks passed with no word on her. Aurors were sent to locate her. Even her parents were questioned, but to no avail. It was as if she had disappeared completely from both the muggle and magical worlds. I continued to fall into my own miserable world. I would find something in my chambers that belonged to her. Her clothes, books, pictures…she had an obsession with pictures. She had a muggle camera, and used it to take photos of the two of us. We looked so happy. There was one from around Halloween. She had charmed the camera to float and take a picture on her command. I had been sitting by the fire, reading. She had curled up in my lap, and told the camera to take a picture just as she was kissing me. I was looking at that picture when someone knocked on my door.  
  
It was early February by then. I tucked the photo into my robes and slowly made my way to the door. It was Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?"  
  
"I need to speak with you, sir." His eyes moved from side to side, as if he thought someone else was nearby. "About Granger."  
  
"What about Granger?"  
  
"Could we possibly talk somewhere else, sir? Somewhere more private?" We entered my classroom. He sat at one of the front tables, so I leaned up against my desk.  
  
"What do you know about her disappearance?"  
  
"Two things, really. She came to talk to me during the Christmas break." This shocked me. I'd always thought the two avoided each other. "It was about you."  
  
"Regarding?" I already knew what though.  
  
"She wanted to know what I had said to you that night. Why you had done what you had done." I began to speak. "Please, sir, just let me tell my story. I told her what I had told you, about the deatheaters. The tears that had rimmed her eyes vanished. They were replaced with a look of determination. All she said was 'So that's why he did it.' What did you do? Throw her out?"  
  
"In a way. It was for her protection."  
  
"That's just it. She's not safe. The second thing…I heard from my father. I was brought to a Dark Revel at my family's manor. They were talking about her. I know they had something to do with her disappearance, but I'm not sure how. No one said anything solid about it. Just referred to 'that Mudblood getting what she deserves.' Another of their rumors was that she had something to do with the death of Morgan Dullet, one of Voldemort's newer recruits. But I'm not sure if that's accurate. I've never pictured Hermione as a killer."  
  
"Nor did I. Thank you for this information, Draco."  
  
"You're welcome, sir. Hermione and I may have never gotten along, but I don't wish to see her harmed. Potter, maybe. But Hermione, never."  
  
"You should return to you dormitory now. It's almost curfew." Draco stood up, and walked to the door.  
  
"Professor, perhaps I should warn you. Several of the other Slytherin seventh-years…they've gotten the dark mark. Voldemort now has eyes in Hogwarts." The door closed with a soft thud. The noise echoed around me.  
  
As you know, Albus, I went straight to you with this information. But it did us no good. She was still missing, and we were even more clueless to her location. So we continued to search for her. Until March, that is.  
  
She showed up in the Gryffindor common room. Came out of the fireplace, beaten and unconscious. Someone had helped her escape. She was immediately whisked away to the hospital wing. Poppy could hardly look at her without crying. I was constantly checking in on her. Poppy figured it out. She never said anything out right though. She just insisted that I sit with Hermione. Claimed she needed to do some work, but felt that someone who cared for Hermione she be there. Poppy is devious when it helps her patients. I would spend endless hours sitting next to her. Just talking, about anything and everything: quidditch scores, potions, muggles. You name it; I talked about it. Yet she never showed any change.  
  
One night, however, something happened. I had fallen asleep in the chair by her bed. Which is a most uncomfortable way to sleep. The sound of breaking glass woke me. Hermione's bed was empty. I turned as saw her at the other end of the room. She had something in her hand. It was thin and shiny…she turned and I figured it out. Broken glass, she had broken a bottle. She hadn't realized that I was awake yet. She raised her wrist to the glass, and start to cut.  
  
"NO!!!" I screamed as I ran over to her. I threw the glass piece to the ground and wrapped her up in my arms. She attempted to push me away. I refused to let go until she heard me out.  
  
"Why not?" Her voice sounded lifeless, like she was dead already.  
  
"Because I love you. Because I don't want to have my heart broken a second time." She looked up at me, a confused look in her eyes.  
  
"When was it broken before?" She quit squirming in my arms.  
  
"When I made you leave. You shut the door as my tears began falling. I did it to protect you. I never intended to hurt you." We moved to her bed and sat down. My arms remained around her small body. She placed her head on my shoulder.  
  
"I was hurt until I talked to Draco. Then I figured it out."  
  
"Is that why you left?"  
  
"Kind of. I went to Hogsmeade. Just to walk around, and think. A man jumped out of an alleyway and put a body bind on me. Then he apparated us to some house; I didn't recognize it. He undid the body bind and tried to rape me. I still had my wand. I used every hex I could think of, but nothing stopped him…except…except…" Her sobs shook her body. She grabbed the front of my robes and pulled herself closer.  
  
"Except what? Hermione?" She looked up at me, terrified.  
  
"Ava…" More tears. She didn't need to finish though. I knew what she couldn't say: Avada Kedavra. An Unforgivable. So she did kill Morgan Dullet. No wonder the deatheaters were after her.  
  
"What happened after that Hermione?" I placed my hand under her chin, and raised her face to look at me. "What else happened to you?"  
  
"I tried to find my way out of the house, but someone else found me. Someone bigger that the last guy, and he had a nasty scar across his face." Lestrange. "He grabbed me by the shoulders, and pushed me up against the wall. He put his face right in front of mine. Then he said the strangest thing. He said, 'I'm sorry, but the Lord wants to see you.' I know at first it doesn't sound strange, but after I thought about it a while it did. He said he was sorry. I would never have expected such a scary man to apologize for anything. Voldemort used Crucio on me. Several times. Then I was put in tiny room in the basement. No windows, but I did have a bed and a bathroom. The guy with the scar brought me food twice a day. Sometimes he would stay to talk; he said his name was Lestrange. A few times a week I was brought to Voldemort. He always used Crucio. He even used Imperio, to make me hurt myself. The night before I returned here, however, he did something new. He brought in a man…Malcolm Dullet. He was the brother of the man I killed. He didn't use any curses on me. He preferred his fists and his boots. Lestrange came to bring me to my room; only he didn't take me there. I was half conscious when we got into the Floo Network. He brought me to Hogwarts. And I will always be grateful for that." Tears fell down her cheeks again. I just held her tighter, and rocked her softly. We laid back onto the bed, and she eventually fell asleep. Once again, I was left to watch her sleep. An almost peaceful look came across her face as she snuggled closer to me. I soon fell asleep with her. 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
  
  
Secrets ― Chapter 10  
  
  
  
  
  
The next morning came too soon. The light from the windows woke me, and then Poppy bustled in. She didn't really say anything at first. Just smiled; one of those smiles where you know the other person knows something. Something they feel is important. I gently untangled myself from Hermione. Then I motioned for Poppy to follow me outside the hospital wing. She followed, still smiling that smile.  
  
"What's wrong, Severus?"  
  
"What's the smile for?" I hate it when someone does this to me. Smiling an 'all-knowing' smile; it makes me nervous. "You look ridiculous."  
  
"Oh, it's nothing. Really, Severus, you shouldn't be so paranoid. It's not like I'm going to Albus about it." Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "I do know something then. I'm just curious…does Hermione return your feelings?"  
  
"Yes. At least that is what she's told me. Repeatedly."  
  
"Does anyone else know?" She doesn't mention your name this time; it remains unspoken.  
  
"Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Potter, and Weasley…I believe." I paused while I considered what to say next.  
  
"Remus and….Sirius? And you're still alive? Impressive." She laughed nervously as if she had made a joke. I knew she was remembering my time at Hogwarts. "How is that possible?"  
  
"Hermione made the Aficionado Potion." Poppy's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "And before you ask…yes it worked the way it was supposed to."  
  
"So…so you're…."  
  
"Soulmates…"  
  
"No wonder Sirius didn't kill you. Hermione would have killed him in return." A loud crash came from the hospital wing. "What was that?"  
  
"Hermione."  
  
We rushed back into the wing. Luckily Hermione had decided to repeat her failed attempt from the night before. She had knocked over a chair; she appeared half awake. Then she started talking. Terrible things…about Voldemort, Lestrange, and Dullet. She screamed. When walked closer to her, she backed away. Babbling, she curled up on her bed. Then I realized she was still asleep. I inched my way closer to her, and sat down beside her. I placed my hand on her lower back and began making soft, small circles. Trying to calm her before waking her up.  
  
"Hermione…you need to wake up." I applied more pressure to her back. "Wake up."  
  
"Wha…?"  
  
As she became awake and coherent, she began to cry. I pulled her into my body, and hugged her tightly. Her hot tears spilled onto my shoulder. I turned my head to Poppy. She was near tears herself.  
  
"Dreamless Sleep Potion." I whispered. Poppy quickly brought a vial to me. "Hermione, dear, drink this."  
  
She did I requested, and soon she had drifted back off to sleep. I sat on the bed beside her, and held her hand. I looked to Poppy, but never had to ask my question.  
  
"I don't know what we can do, Severus." And the tears, which had lined her eyes, finally fell.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Sorry this is so short. I can't really decide what should happen next. Any ideas? 


	11. Author's Note

Sorry this isn't a new chapter. I know it has been a very long time since I updated this one. Life has kind of gotten in the way. What I want to know is if anyone thinks I should continue it? Is it worth it? Does anyone really like it? I would really appreciate it if I could get some feedback about this. Thanks!  
  
Sephyra 


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